The Miracle of Plane Flight.

There's this bit by lewey that I really like.  He talks about how miserable everyone is in spite of the amazing things that have happened with technology and life etc.   I'm on a plane right now IMing someone. for fun. and blogging.   Little things like this are still completely crazy and amazing to me.  Maybe because i'm an old lady at heart?  Or because I traveled for a living and have more patience for it than some?  Maybe because i was a little bit removed from things?  Oh... i think i got it.  I bet just hating life in general puts me in a unique position where i can easily love and appreciate the small things.  Most people do it the other way, right?  love life and bitch about all the details?   I don't like that.  Anyway,  I AM WRITING THIS FROM A PLANE. it's a miracle!  (an old miracle that i am finally getting to appreciate)  

On my last flight, I sat in a row by myself!  I was so stoked.  Then i realized that no one sat near me because i picked the row next to the baby. oops.  Her older brother really wanted attention...or maybe he wanted to drown the crying out but he sang the 'batman smells' version of jingle bells for about half the flight.  I thought it was really cute and funny.  I also liked that his mom never yelled at him.  I think i would have told my kid to be quiet to be considerate of the ppl around.  I think she was right though.  I guess when you have had 6 kids, you get really good at knowing what to and what not to care about.  The teacher/aunt in me really wanted to play a game with the kid.  It could have been nice.  I wish befriending children wasn't creepy?   Ok so anyway, if you haven't seen the LCK thing, watch it.

http://www.thatvideosite.com/v/94

Wake Up Calls

I am so tired.  Last night was the first night I tried sleeping without stilnox or copious amounts of booze in months.  Months?  Ok. Years.  There was that two month phase when my supply from my Korean doctor had run out and I didn't have health insurance but I was unemployed and sleeping through the afternoons. So it didn't really matter much that I wasn't falling asleep til the early morning.   Anyway, I went to get my prescription yesterday and it wasn't ready. Glitch in the system. Everyone was told the wrong day/time and meds were in high demand.  I didn't have the time to wait around since I was on lunch and I finished working after the pharmacy was closed so I tried taking melatonin and drinking brandy but it didn't help.  I was wide awake still at 4am and getting really nervous about whether or not i'd wake up for work.  I was so nervous about it, that when I did fall asleep around 5, I kept having dreams that would wake me up every 5 or so minutes. I dreamt I was being attacked by bed bugs. I dreamt I was sleeping in a high rise apartment and my Asian neighbor kept playing the violin on her rooftop and waking up the neighborhood.  This happened over and over again until one of the neighbors pulled a gun on her and she ran inside.  Then I dreamt I was sleeping outside in a parking lot, under a tarp, and kept waking up because people were either tripping over me or because I was scared someone was going to try and harm me.  I hear taking sleep meds will give you bad dreams but apparently not taking them will really do the trick.  I just need a nap. A really good, long nap.  If only I could nap...

*Update.  While working later this day, I heard my upstairs neighbor playing the violin.  I'm not really sure if it was in my dream because i've heard it before (without really being aware of it) or because i am in fact a prophet but it's certainly one of those two.

Sorry #NotSorry

I was playing cards with my parents the other day and having tons of fun.  What is wrong with me. That's all I kept thinking as I was enjoying it.  Then I thought about it for days and days cause...well, that's what I do. 
I'm pretty sure it has something to do with being really authentic around them.  And/or knowing that when I say terrible or stupid things they will still like me after.  I mean, my dad said he was going to disown me at one point during the day, but I reminded him that he already tried to do that when I was 18 and came home with a lip ring.  Obviously, as my "favorite child" Christmas ornament* indicates - it didn't work.
So we played several games but ended with pinochle.  It's typically a couple's game but there is a 3 player version with a kitty.  We grew up playing Pinochle.  I usually win against them but mostly because I have enough faith to make run-like bids banking on the hope that I'll actually make a run with the kitty.  It's really foolish but being the prophet that I am, I can usually sense when my cards are there.  jk.  But the curiosity of the kitty KILLS me and while my mom will tell me if the one card I was looking for is in there, my dad will not. So if I'm ever REALLY losing, I will just out-bid him every time just to know the cards.  Really, only a parent could love me.
 
So playing my mom says: "You know growing up, my sister used to bring her boyfriends over to play cards with Charlie and my Mom.  You should bring someone over so we can play partners."
Me: "But Charlie and Grandma were fun"

My dad got offended and my mom laughed hysterically.  Typical tom and alexis reactions.  


*I'm not really their favorite.  I think they just feel a sense of purpose when I'm around because I still need my mom to fix the washing machine when I break it and call my dad to ask about car things.  I'm also the only one that doesn't have a spouse or kids who need my attention more than them.  They're still my only family.  Honestly, as much as I want to move, when I think about not living near them, it makes me pretty sad.  These last two years home have been really good for us.  And no one encourages my mom to buy a puppy against my dad's wishes like I do.   Oh yeah!  That was when he threatened to disown me.  When I talked about the cute puppy and kitten they'd be getting in their Christmas stockings.  

When my mom retires, puppy gifts are fair game.  Right?

100 days of shut up

I have a really high tolerance for tv drama.  Incredibly high.  Higher than most teenagers. 
100 days of summer, is one of the worst tv shows that's ever existed.  Maybe if they had another 400 days it'd be really good like the movie?  It might not be as bad as Walker Texas Ranger, (it might be) but it's definitely more annoying than it.

Korean Rodeo

Today was awesome.

First, i found 80$ in a coat pocket.   That is a huge score!  i don't think i've ever found more than $20 in an item of clothing before.

Then, i looked at my calendar and remembered that in a week i'll be in Texas with some of my old friends from Korea. Cass, Andrew, Cortney and i will be living it up in Austin.  i suspect adorable music venues, soju, noraebong, bbq (both ways) and lots of cowboy boots.  i was also informed today that Cass's little brother will be coming up too - his visit to Korea missed my departure by like a day so it will be nice to finally meet this tall trouble maker.  Last time i visited Cortney in Texas we went to a rodeo and saw a monkey cowboy riding a sheepdog, i two-stepped with a cowboy on my birthday, i touched a lot of animals, and i learned all about biscuits and honey and creamed corn.   i am so excited!!  i'm also excited that i can work from their house (no need to use pto) and i bought the ticket long enough ago that i had forgotten!    

Surprise, myself!  i'm going to texas. giddy up.
    

Physical Challenge

So tonight I hung out with a boy who has been asking me out for about three weeks.  I've told him several times that I like someone else and don't have an interest in dating and he's said that's fine but he's kept asking.  I talked to the boys in the IM about it today and it went something like...

back story back story back story...
boys: "well, boys who want to be "just friends" don't ask someone to hang out a million times so he probably just views you saying you like someone else as a challenge to get over or to make him like you"
me: "I know, I kind of agree, but I've said it sooo many times. I can't say it more or in any other way without being really mean"
boys: "so if you don't want to actually go out with him, you probably shouldn't go"
me:" I know....but I just want friends... *crying face icon*"
boys: "*sad face*"
me: "it's so hard to be a girl and not be a bitch.  If I was (insert bitchy girl) I would have gone out with him a million times already and made him buy me food and drinks.  But I seriously just want to hang out"

So.. in spite of agreeing with them, I went out....I really wanted to go out.  I also had told him I wasn't coming out and he said some guilt provoking thing about me not ditching him.  And honestly, it might have been my own weird sense of guilt and not anything implied, but it flipped my decision from staying in to going. But I did really want to hang out tonight and I don't know that many people in town. I quantified our hanging out as just hanging out (which probably made me seem like more of a jerk), I met instead of accepting a ride, and I paid instead of being paid for.  I also apologized for quantifying the hang out as not a date and explained that i'm weird and just good at liking someone (else).  I probably did all of the worst things.  but to my point.  It is seriously hard to be a girl, not want to date someone, and want to hang out with them. 

Anyway, we went to a trivia night.  The trivia night ended after two rounds WITH A PHYSICAL CHALLENGE.  Super exciting.  I guess it changes each week - today was flipping a "flip cup" 360 onto/from a ping pong paddle.   Regardless.  I felt really torn about it. much like the entire event.  I was super excited that physical challenges are being kept alive.  Yay Double Dare!  And Also felt like had I been #1 in trivia question points, and lost to a physical challenge, the whole thing would have been a cheat.   #LifeIsHard

Snapping isn't only for coffee shops.

I have this anxiety issue.  It's kind of new. It might be getting worse.  My dad died and then came back to life in March 2012, remember?  Well, I was on edge with him for sooo long. Then last winter three of my grandparents died within a few weeks/months of each other and after that I started getting really nervous something terrible was going to happen all the time.  It's mostly bad at work.  Probably because that's all I do.  But, when asking for advice, a friend told me to try the ol' rubber band around your wrist trick.  It's been 1.5 days and it works about 89% of the time.  Just thought I'd throw this out there in case you can't help but thinking about things you don't want to. you too, can snap it out.