gestures

it's really funny when you meet a boy who keeps making hand gestures for obvious words and asking "do you understand?" every few minutes in the conversation.  sure signs he's been dating korean girls since he's arrived.

i give killer tattoos

VH.HK

Ruins of St. Paul in Macau

Muuido Island

Spent the weekend here.
Needless to say, it was great.

29

I forgot to mention but I had a BIRTHDAY this month.  It was the second birthday I've ever worked and the first time I've ever forgotten it was my birthday mid-day.  My friends sue, elizabeth and my brother have historically been really really good at making a big deal about celebrating.  It's always been the best day and so fun and full of surprises.  It was weird this year to be around mostly a lot of strangers who don't even think my birthday is the best day in the whole entire world.  What is wrong with them?  But, now I understand why some people don't like their birthdays and I also think I would like a job being people's birthday-friend.  I mean, I don't want to jump out of a cake, or take off any clothes or do anything weird.  But I think someone should be there to remind you it is your birthday throughout the day and clap and sing and smile real big and plan something super fun that you wouldn't have thought of but would love to do.   How do I make this a career?  Maybe i need to start as a volunteer service to spread the word...  

future figured out.

binge and purge

i really don't like this blog.  and i want to get rid of it and start a different one.  actually, i have an old one from last summer that i discovered and like much more than this one.  probably because it has a theme.  the thing is, everyone living in korea feels that their blog needs to be informational for their family back home.  but my family doesn't read this.  they don't even email me on my birthday.  i'm not sure why i've kept up that stupid telling/informing format with my blog - out of habit i suppose.  i'm going to change that. i will either be moving or changing.  historically i move.  a fresh start, right?  but well, for the sake of the five of you who read this i will try and change. 

Get Specific

So I started reading this book.  It's called "Switch" and it's about the psychology behind change.  I really like it thus far.  There's a lot about different case studies or examples of successful change in various life or business situations but it is (surprisingly) keeping my attention. I just want to talk about one thing from it.

Outside of my classroom, I know that it must be difficult for my students who are in classes too advanced for them.  Inside of the classroom, it's frustrating to have students who have no idea what I'm saying when I'm giving simple instructions that they should have learned years before. 

"What looks like resistance if often a lack of clarity."

Since reading this, this sentence has been on repeat in my head when I'm at work.  It's helping me to slow down, and to set very specific goals for my students.   Instead of telling them to 'use proper grammar'  I've set a concrete goal for them -  every answer to a question should be said in a complete sentence.  I now have a chart, and I keep track of every time they reply in a full sentence.  If they do it so many times by September they will get a small prize.  My kids improved immediately.  Also, the number I set was really high and the prize one of them suggested was a dollar.  I nearly burst out laughing.   Kids are so great!    

Hong Kong, I love you!

I've just returned from Hong Kong.  and i made that decision (that i often do) to stay up the whole night before leaving to get as much in as possible.  i feel like a zombie. 
Hong Kong was amazing.  I feel like we had three mini vacations in one because we spent some time on Macau (which is beautiful), a few days at a resort (swimming pool, beach, bath tubs and a king size bed. so many wonderful things!), and the rest of the time downtown kowloon/ downtown HK island.   We rode 6 ferries.  We went to one island and one theme park (though we reneged on going to disneyland cause after some internet surfing it had less (no) panda's than the other park and (mostly dumb) rides we've all already been on)
I swam in the nicest pool i've ever seen in my life.  i ate the most delicious foods from so many places in the world and none of them were hong kong versions of said food (like here where everything is korean/chinese or korean pizza or korean/italian etc etc)   So many cultures and everyone was rich and beautiful.  i've never felt more under dressed or young looking in my life but nbd, i still made friends. i love hong kong! 

on monday

i came home from work to a number of missed calls.  people who usually didn't call me during the day.  i knew something was going on, but i guessed that our friend had been called into military service and we were getting together to do something before he left.  really, they were all calling to say another friend was dead.  she had killed herself the night before.  they kept telling me i needed to come to the wake to pray for the soul of the dead.  i didn't want to be anywhere near it.  i tried walking to the street to catch a cab but i couldn't. i couldn't accept walking to a cab, to take me to a wake because my friend was dead.  i had just seen her. a while later, when i felt like i couldn't cry anymore, i made my way down the street and got into a cab. 'the greatest love' by whitney houston was playing. 

The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all 

i scoffed. god is ironic, or cruel, or funny, or something.

when i arrived, i stood outside the building amongst friends. most of us silent and everyone red eyed. twenty minutes or so went by when a friend asked if i wanted company inside. i said no. i went in, not knowing what i was walking to, but i knew which room when i saw a white person standing outside of it. the husband of her pregnant sister. her best friend hugged me and took me into the next room with sk's picture surrounded by flowers, candles, incense and across from that, a bed for the family members to stay on.  she told me to light incense but she had to steady my hand for me to do so. she told me to say what i wanted to sk. i said fuck you. then i said a prayer for her soul and her family.  i was supposed to bow to her mother - maybe say something, i have no idea but i couldn't really keep it together.  everyone was sitting at a table with food and drinks in the adjoining room but i went straight back to my shoes and outside.  that room and the grief of all those people was too much.  the loss of a loved one and the silence amongst friends who are typically so full of life, is a place i've been before. and a place i never wanted to be again without grey hairs and a sense of expectation.

death is awful. for everyone who's ever known it.  all i can think is to be aware of the perspective it gives you on life.  i'm not willing to be normal just yet, but i am certain to remember to be more grateful, loving, and kind. 

my street

young love

can't sit still

Brain

Jiyoon

nice pants

Yale Class

ryan's mom gives him manicures. sometimes they match mine.

lunch time

google+

I think i'm young enough that i'm supposed to still be excited about technology but the idea of having to change online social networks yet again is no fun.  why can't we all just stay where we are?  i remember both the day facebook became known to us (the day we all swore we'd never switch from myspace)  and the day when i realized every last one of my friends had switched, and i would have to do the same if i wanted to be a part of their online lives.  being abroad you barely even exist without an internet presence.
(i kind of hope google+ doesn't pan out.  sorry google, it just seems like too much work)

rock scissors paper is good too

hello internet,

it's been a while.  a long while. 
let's just say, i had a series of things go wrong, get worse, and break me over the last few months.  i never want to write when i'm sad. for a number of reasons. so i haven't.  but you see, the thing about everything going to hell is that at some point you're forced into action.  and for me, that has been my silver lining.  things are changing, life is good and i'm really happy with the direction i'm heading.

there's an artist named 'jaymay' (which is kind of dumb since it's pronounced 'jamie' but..) i have no idea how long she's been around/famous for, but i noticed that i really liked the soundtrack on this movie called happythankyoumoreplease (maybe you should watch it?) and looked into her.  you should too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdMxVlwBxYk

found today- written 4 months ago at the atlanta airport

All of my bags are far too heavy. And I have too many things to be carrying around an airport by myself.  I don’t always think about things before they’re really annoying.  But when they’re happening, I remember how at one point in time before I swore I would never get in said situation again.  I hate having a backpack and a laptop and the heaviest purse full of electronics and a winter coat and scarf over my hoodie because I know it will be freezing when I get there but it’s so hot on the plane.  Especially the plane to korea.  The 18 hour plane.   Asians are so scared of being cold.  I could have packed said coat but I was already 18 lbs over limit and bursting at the seems.  Oops. It would be so nice to have someone in the airport to watch my bags when i decide i want a drink. Or need to use the bathroom.  Or want to not be sitting for a few minutes. Or whatever.  I really like traveling alone but moving around alone is too much baggage.  Literally.

Good things about Atlanta airport?  Qdoba. 
Bad things about Atlanta airport?  You think you’re getting free wifi and then you’re not.  I mean you are...if you need to look at the zoo or local college websites.  Otherwise, you’re just let down.

The best part of today?   I’m at the gate to my flight to korea and everyone is so attractive and incredibly well dressed. 

I’m slightly nervous that someone will trip over my computer cord because it’s strewn across the floor in a moderately busy traffic area.  However,  I’m not super nervous because there are only two white people at this gate and I don’t think Koreans sue people. 

Also, 3 people today asked if I’m doing a student exchange program.  I hope I always look 8 yrs younger than I am. 

patrick, the patron saint of beer.

happy saint patrick's day!   i tried to tell my students about it. and then, with rainbow going into a pot of gold, a leprechaun (that looked like an elf - oh yeah...a top hat. i forgot about that.  i actually just drew an elf now that i think of it) and a three leaf clover drawn on the board i was finished.  "and this is st. patrick's day".  they totally understood.  what's it about anyway?

i'm white. get over it

one of my new students has apparently never seen a foreigner before. she cries. no, she wails for the entire class period while i'm in the room.  her mom has told the korean staff she's very very very sorry.  on friday the little boy next to her got tissue and wiped away her tears and then held her hand and she stopped crying for about ten minutes.  ray of hope!   and for the record, watching three year olds date is quit possibly the cutest thing in the world. 

computers

when i was in 7th grade i took the one and only computer class i've ever taken in my life.  we learned how to write code.  i loved it.  i thought being on the black screen and writing things and then seeing them turn into something (a video game) was kind of .....hmm... well, i was going to say brilliant (you know, because i'm a little british in korea) but i think it was so good because it gives you a sense of power i suppose.  (which i've never really thought about until right now...and maybe that's why so many "nerds" like it - no offence, dane) (jk)  but power in the sense that you are both A. in the secret part of a computer and B. making things exist.   Anyway,  every now and then i think about that class and wonder if i would, outside of that class, like writing code.  also, i wonder why i never thought of it when i was picking my degree in english literature. 

more importantly. and, the actual reason for this post is because i often SOMEHOW manage to accidentally click on a tab and magically make it into a separate window and it drives me crazy. and i want to know how i do this. and if there is any way to reverse it.  so. anyone (cause i'm sure you all know these stupid basic things that i never learn because why learn how things work when knowing that they work is good enough) please tell me.   thank you.

   

horse first, cart second

so, here, the school year begins in march. which means kindy classes end in february and some kids (5+6 year olds) move up and the 7 year olds move on to elementary school.  as i've mentioned, i have the youngest class currently enrolled. Since they're so young and they just got a new teacher (me) two months ago, my coworkers and the teacher i replaced told me i'de likely move up to their new class with them.  friday is graduation and our new classes were announced today. i am not moving up with them. i am instead getting the newest bunch of "5" yr olds. ..kids who won't know a word of english. kids who will cry and pee their pants daily. i keep trying to reassure myself that they will be adorable and possibly really smart and will understand basic rules. i keep trying to not think about it or care about it until it actually happens (and is (probably) awful) but it's very hard. i'm usually good at putting things out of my mind but life events are very sparse here. without something to worry about what do people think about?   

i love you teacher

i know some people who openly admit to doing/not doing things so that their students like them.  i know from experience that a child's love is fleeting and could care less about them liking me or not. some days the will love me, others they won't but everyday they'll sit nicely, raise their hand, listen to teacher, and not yell.

my favorite student is the youngest in the school. tony. he's so smart and so excited to impress me with things he's learned. he remembers from one sentence three weeks ago that i like green apples not red and i don't like lemons or kimchi but i like pizza. (sometimes he gives me a fake plate and says, here teacher, i you pizza and green apple, no red apple, teacher likes green apple and no lemons) our school went on a field trip sledding. i was told that the teachers watch while the kids sled. i wore sneakers instead of boots. upon arrival i was told that my class was too little to sled alone so the teachers all had to ride with a student.  glad i wore sneakers instead of boots.

those of you who know me from way back know that i always get a concussion when sledding and therefor fear it.  however, here (maybe just because it was a lot of kids? maybe always?) they have a dude at the top who sends the first row of people down in a group and dudes at the bottom who push people in different directions if they're about to collide.  it was pretty awesome.

tony was sooooo happy that our sled went the fastest and the farthest (i started off the day breaking but my feet were cold and there was too much snow in my pants so i figured if i just start first i can not break and not worry about running over small children)   he was so tired after two hours but resolved to not stopping - he wouldn't get off my lap at the bottom of the hill - he could barely walk back up the hill - i ended up, at some point carrying him and the sled up the hill which he thought was hilarious. tony kept saying "i love you teacher" and "sarah teacher is good teacher, i love sarah teacher" i know it's the same as "i'm having so much fun"  but i have to give credit to my young coworkers who want the students' love. it is kind of nice having a little one tell you over and over that they love you.  even just in the 'i'm glad i helped you have a really great day' kind of way.

oh bread

everyday i have to eat lunch at school, in a classroom, with the tiniest kids who try and grab at me with their rice covered fingers.  There's another Korean teacher in the room to help them out as well. Our lunches are white rice, radishes, kimchi, bean sprouts or fish noodles and the main dish.
my favorite main dishes?  curry (doesn't happen often - maybe once every three weeks?), eggs (once/twice a week) dok boki, and chop chae. i think that's it.
My least favorite dishes?    fish pancakes.  fish heads. chicken feet. spam.  and various mystery meats that look like indecent parts of animals and the korean teachers refer to as 'hamburger steak'.  then if i ask " is it....(every meat dish i know in korean)" they tell me no, hamburger steak. it is impossible. for all of those things, which are all very different looking and tasting to be called hamburger steak when they are in fact neither hamburger or steak. fact.
mostly, i just eat rice for lunch.

sports

i really really like watching sports. so many asia cup soccer games on the big screen lately(go korea) hockey (whats wrong sabres?) i've even taken to watching basketball?  (but. i still think it's the easiest game and therefor the least sporty.) anyway,  it's almost time for my favorite day: superbowl sunday.  the only bad part about football and being from the future is having to avoid facebook sunday/monday till we watch the game monday night. (and it's bad because i never remember to and always find something out)  also, it won't seem like superbowl sunday without cool ranch doritos.   oh the problems of this world.

summary

my resolve to get it together in a week wasn't as...well... serious as i thought it would be. anyway. i unpacked yesterday. here's a brief summary of things that have happened so far.

1. week one i hung my clothes to dry on the roof as instructed by my hotel. but. they froze.
2. i'm responsible for the youngest kids in the school. they get really excited to tell me things but don't have the language to and its usually just a lot of flying hands and sound effects.  this is one of my favorite things.
3. saw the two headed turtle again.
4. had a girls night with the most amount of laughing i've done in so long. the sorest cheeks and stomach in years. seriously. 
5. field trip to a two hour long korean children's play.
6. watched a lot of football.
7. i have korean bbq at least 3 times a week. yeah!  
8. i have slept through one noraebong session but still have yet to go and sing. (this time) 
9. one four year old boy looked down my shirt as i was zippering his jacket, saw my tattoo, told me "teacher your tshirt is so funny" and now tries to pull apart my collar to look down my shirt everyday.
10. only once, so far (cross your fingers) i turned the sink on forgetting it was on shower and got soaked while dressed for work and about to head out the door.

other than that, just a lot of hanging out. being back with old friends, meeting new ones and missing cheese.

Achilles' heel

I'm not really stupid, and I don't often waste money...but every single time a dolphin cruise is advertised i think it's a good idea.   

cat in a rage

This last week was a little stressful.  Mostly self induced and a little how gross my new living space is.  I hate it. and I stewed over hating it for about a day and a half until i decided it's fine because i can just make it better in time.  (but lets be honest...who wants to have to wait for things)  (and then really, if we're being honest, i should tell you that it won't be better - just less noticeably gross upon arrival)
Also, i had three days of training with all the new teachers that were hired this month. There was a lot of mandatory singing and dancing in a room that was far too hot for fun but the group i was with was kind of awesome.  new year's eve was our last day of training so after we went into seoul and celebrated together.  new years day i spent in my neighborhood at my old spot, in our old way - heading home from noraebong well into the morning.
Today was my first day with the kids.  Going from 3 hour classes to 40 minute classes is amazing.   So far so good. we'll see how long it takes those new teacher/good behavior fears to wear off. 
I'm giving myself another week of procrastinating and then i promise to A. unpack my suitcase B. upload the pictures i've been taking and C. blog regularly.