Pre-Kiss Face

Why do boys always make that stupid face before they try and kiss you for the first time?  it's weird.

Neighborhood Shame

Since spring my mom's been jealous of the neighbor's lawn which was dandelion free.  Our lawn, on the other hand, was riddled with them.  For weeks my mom talked about how she wanted to spray the lawn to kill the dandelions so she finally told me about a month ago that she had bought spray. That weekend she just kept saying "I need to spray the lawn but I'm so tired".  So in an attempt to be helpful, I took the bottle and sprayed for her.   About two weeks later my dad asked me if I knew what had happened to the lawn.  I didn't know what he was talking about.  He took me out front and there it was.  A tie-dyed lawn. Green and Brown.  Turns out that I, like my mom, didn't read the bottle she purchased.  The bottle that said "weed and grass killer."  oops! 

Favor me this, favor me that.

Me:  Mom, what's the most fun part about living with your kid again?
Mom: Being able to do stuff for you.
Me: Seriously?!
Mom: Yeah
Me: That's so good!!  Cause the most fun part for me...other than using your makeup, is having you around to help me do stuff. Can you believe it!?  
Mom:  Oh, ha ha ha ha. That's so funny!
Me:  I know.  This is perfect!  ...Also, I'm supposed to make some treats for work tomorrow.. but I need to run tonight cause I slept in this morning... do you think you could help me?

my mom is such a mom! so nice.

A Mother's Request

My mom stopped me the other day.  She needed to talk.  She seemed upset.

M:  "Honey.  I love you.  And I know you're going to hate me for asking this....but I've kept it in for so long I just can't wait any longer"
Me: "Ok..."
M: "You're going to hate me"
Me: "Just say it, mom"
M: "Can you please make your bed in the morning?"
Me: laughter
M: "Your door was open today and it was just so messy seeming with an unmade bed"
Me: "Can I just keep my door closed?"
M:  "You should always make your bed. It makes you feel better when you enter the room"
Me: "Well when my bed is unmade it makes me feel better.  Like my bed is inviting me into it."
M: "*pplleeaassee. I think it's so much better made"
Me:  "Well how about I'll make my bed every morning  for you and before I come home at night you unmake it for me?"
M:  "Ok!"

TLW

Oh my boss's boss. You like basketball?  Wow, we have so much in common. I love basketball.  Oh you like history?  I find it just thrilling, don't you? 


* i don't actually like basketball or history.  but. i do like business men. 

A bargain

So, it's been a while.  March 24th my mom and i went to see the hunger games at the movie theatre.  my dad was sitting at home alone eating a sandwich. He has no recollection of the day but he got up mid-lunch, went for a walk toward the main street (the opposite direction he normally walks)  and just dropped dead.  An EMT happened to be driving by, he saw my dad collapse, pulled him out of the street, and did cpr for 6 minutes until an ambulance arrived.  They shocked his heart three times and got it started.  The concern at that point was brain damage so they induced a coma and did a cooling therapy on him for the next 36 hours.  It was a waiting game to find out if he'd wake up fine, wake up with brain damage, or not wake up.  once that 36 hr waiting period was passed, he began to wake up slowly over the course of  the day. he had signs of brain damage the day after that. and he was fine, except totally uninhibited and nothing like his usual self, the day after that.  He had minor heart surgery two days later and is perfectly healthy and back to normal now.  He's also lost lots of weight since being released and cared for by his wonderful daughter!   Ask me the nutritional information on anything.

So.  Now.  Let's talk a little more about that two week period of time post coma when he was physically ok but mentally a weirdo.  The doctors said that all of there patients who have had that cooling therapy are kind of wild for a while after.  They said a lot of those patients run around the hospital totally unashamed and naked and are often trying to kiss the nurses.  My dad was a milder version of that.  But he got strange ideas in his head and couldn't let them go.

My favorite was that God couldn't let him die because I'm still single.  He decided that his nurse was the man for me.  My dad asked him a lot of invasive questions and made eyebrow-raising faces at me.  He asked all the other nurses about him and if they thought he would want to date me.  He told me to go home and change into a shirt so my tattoos showed so that the nurse (who had sleeves) would know that I'm into similar things as him.  He wrote me a three page letter explaining why I should date him.  He included coupons I could use on our (theoretical) date.  He asked another nurse for her phone number in case he needed to get more information about him after being released.  And about a week after being home from the hospital, he wrote a letter to the hospital, telling them to tell this nurse that he had a single daughter he could have for one goat and two chickens.

Super Fun

Everything's been super fun lately.

1. Vacation to canada!  it was nice to be around an old friend. nice to drink drinks and make new friends. And two near engagements reinvigorated my canadian house wife dreams. 

2. This week the weather has been beautiful (although today it was a little warm at 79) and I've been given the keys to the SUV  (don't worry, it's a hybrid)  to enjoy it.  I guess most people like walking and sitting in the sun but i don't like being hot - so i like driving with the windows down, music loud, and trying to find waterfront.

3. Buffalo party.  My friend Jamie from philly! and korea! and hong kong! is back in america.  She's doin' her rounds and wants to see herself some niagra falls.  So next week i'm picking her up from the airport and we're going to spend a few days watching water fall, staying up till 4am, eating delicious foods and reliving my life circa 2002.

4. Upcoming train rides to visit everyone coming soon.