rock scissors paper is good too

hello internet,

it's been a while.  a long while. 
let's just say, i had a series of things go wrong, get worse, and break me over the last few months.  i never want to write when i'm sad. for a number of reasons. so i haven't.  but you see, the thing about everything going to hell is that at some point you're forced into action.  and for me, that has been my silver lining.  things are changing, life is good and i'm really happy with the direction i'm heading.

there's an artist named 'jaymay' (which is kind of dumb since it's pronounced 'jamie' but..) i have no idea how long she's been around/famous for, but i noticed that i really liked the soundtrack on this movie called happythankyoumoreplease (maybe you should watch it?) and looked into her.  you should too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdMxVlwBxYk

found today- written 4 months ago at the atlanta airport

All of my bags are far too heavy. And I have too many things to be carrying around an airport by myself.  I don’t always think about things before they’re really annoying.  But when they’re happening, I remember how at one point in time before I swore I would never get in said situation again.  I hate having a backpack and a laptop and the heaviest purse full of electronics and a winter coat and scarf over my hoodie because I know it will be freezing when I get there but it’s so hot on the plane.  Especially the plane to korea.  The 18 hour plane.   Asians are so scared of being cold.  I could have packed said coat but I was already 18 lbs over limit and bursting at the seems.  Oops. It would be so nice to have someone in the airport to watch my bags when i decide i want a drink. Or need to use the bathroom.  Or want to not be sitting for a few minutes. Or whatever.  I really like traveling alone but moving around alone is too much baggage.  Literally.

Good things about Atlanta airport?  Qdoba. 
Bad things about Atlanta airport?  You think you’re getting free wifi and then you’re not.  I mean you are...if you need to look at the zoo or local college websites.  Otherwise, you’re just let down.

The best part of today?   I’m at the gate to my flight to korea and everyone is so attractive and incredibly well dressed. 

I’m slightly nervous that someone will trip over my computer cord because it’s strewn across the floor in a moderately busy traffic area.  However,  I’m not super nervous because there are only two white people at this gate and I don’t think Koreans sue people. 

Also, 3 people today asked if I’m doing a student exchange program.  I hope I always look 8 yrs younger than I am. 

patrick, the patron saint of beer.

happy saint patrick's day!   i tried to tell my students about it. and then, with rainbow going into a pot of gold, a leprechaun (that looked like an elf - oh yeah...a top hat. i forgot about that.  i actually just drew an elf now that i think of it) and a three leaf clover drawn on the board i was finished.  "and this is st. patrick's day".  they totally understood.  what's it about anyway?

i'm white. get over it

one of my new students has apparently never seen a foreigner before. she cries. no, she wails for the entire class period while i'm in the room.  her mom has told the korean staff she's very very very sorry.  on friday the little boy next to her got tissue and wiped away her tears and then held her hand and she stopped crying for about ten minutes.  ray of hope!   and for the record, watching three year olds date is quit possibly the cutest thing in the world. 

computers

when i was in 7th grade i took the one and only computer class i've ever taken in my life.  we learned how to write code.  i loved it.  i thought being on the black screen and writing things and then seeing them turn into something (a video game) was kind of .....hmm... well, i was going to say brilliant (you know, because i'm a little british in korea) but i think it was so good because it gives you a sense of power i suppose.  (which i've never really thought about until right now...and maybe that's why so many "nerds" like it - no offence, dane) (jk)  but power in the sense that you are both A. in the secret part of a computer and B. making things exist.   Anyway,  every now and then i think about that class and wonder if i would, outside of that class, like writing code.  also, i wonder why i never thought of it when i was picking my degree in english literature. 

more importantly. and, the actual reason for this post is because i often SOMEHOW manage to accidentally click on a tab and magically make it into a separate window and it drives me crazy. and i want to know how i do this. and if there is any way to reverse it.  so. anyone (cause i'm sure you all know these stupid basic things that i never learn because why learn how things work when knowing that they work is good enough) please tell me.   thank you.

   

horse first, cart second

so, here, the school year begins in march. which means kindy classes end in february and some kids (5+6 year olds) move up and the 7 year olds move on to elementary school.  as i've mentioned, i have the youngest class currently enrolled. Since they're so young and they just got a new teacher (me) two months ago, my coworkers and the teacher i replaced told me i'de likely move up to their new class with them.  friday is graduation and our new classes were announced today. i am not moving up with them. i am instead getting the newest bunch of "5" yr olds. ..kids who won't know a word of english. kids who will cry and pee their pants daily. i keep trying to reassure myself that they will be adorable and possibly really smart and will understand basic rules. i keep trying to not think about it or care about it until it actually happens (and is (probably) awful) but it's very hard. i'm usually good at putting things out of my mind but life events are very sparse here. without something to worry about what do people think about?   

i love you teacher

i know some people who openly admit to doing/not doing things so that their students like them.  i know from experience that a child's love is fleeting and could care less about them liking me or not. some days the will love me, others they won't but everyday they'll sit nicely, raise their hand, listen to teacher, and not yell.

my favorite student is the youngest in the school. tony. he's so smart and so excited to impress me with things he's learned. he remembers from one sentence three weeks ago that i like green apples not red and i don't like lemons or kimchi but i like pizza. (sometimes he gives me a fake plate and says, here teacher, i you pizza and green apple, no red apple, teacher likes green apple and no lemons) our school went on a field trip sledding. i was told that the teachers watch while the kids sled. i wore sneakers instead of boots. upon arrival i was told that my class was too little to sled alone so the teachers all had to ride with a student.  glad i wore sneakers instead of boots.

those of you who know me from way back know that i always get a concussion when sledding and therefor fear it.  however, here (maybe just because it was a lot of kids? maybe always?) they have a dude at the top who sends the first row of people down in a group and dudes at the bottom who push people in different directions if they're about to collide.  it was pretty awesome.

tony was sooooo happy that our sled went the fastest and the farthest (i started off the day breaking but my feet were cold and there was too much snow in my pants so i figured if i just start first i can not break and not worry about running over small children)   he was so tired after two hours but resolved to not stopping - he wouldn't get off my lap at the bottom of the hill - he could barely walk back up the hill - i ended up, at some point carrying him and the sled up the hill which he thought was hilarious. tony kept saying "i love you teacher" and "sarah teacher is good teacher, i love sarah teacher" i know it's the same as "i'm having so much fun"  but i have to give credit to my young coworkers who want the students' love. it is kind of nice having a little one tell you over and over that they love you.  even just in the 'i'm glad i helped you have a really great day' kind of way.